3rd Grade Quotes VI

One of my students approached me as I used the paper cutter...

Student - "Blade and small children. Recipe for disaster."



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Me - "I know some of you must have strong feelings about the end of the year. This is a time we should REALLY listen to our friends. I want you to turn to a neighbor and ask them how they are feeling."


Student (turns to her neighbor)- "How do you feel about OREOS?"



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Student 1 - "Okay Everyone, we need to make rules about Justin Bieber."

Student 2 - "First rule about Justin Bieber: Don't call him a GIRL."




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It was the beginning of the year and I asked one of my students to write his name on a sticky note for me...


Student - "I was hoping I didn't have to write anything this year. My handwriting SUCKS."




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"Dollar Tree toys are a rip-off. You buy them, then they break five seconds later. RIP-OFF."

3rd Grade Quotes V

"My favorite body part is my ear because I like to listen to Justin Bieber."




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Me - "It's not the end of the world. We just need to focus on making respectful choices now."

Student -"It IS the end of the world because my mom is going to ground me from video games. Video games are my life."

Me - "I predict you will make respectful choices and play again soon."

Student - "I'm going to be grounded forever."

Me - "What video games do you like to play?"

Student - "Violent ones."



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"Good morning, Mrs. Goldmann. Check out my new jacket. It was a hundred dollars. Black Friday special."




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‎"My class at my other school had thirty-one kids. Yeah. Try teaching THAT, Mrs. Goldmann."

3rd Grade Quotes IV

"I don't understand why the Grinch stole Christmas. If he didn't like Christmas, why didn't he just make up his OWN holiday?"



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Student 1 - "Mrs. Goldmann you are sooo good with glitter! Did you go to Talent School or something?"

Student 2 - "No. She's talented because her mom is talented. When your mom is talented, it passes to you."



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"By the way, Mrs. Goldmann, you should know that Godzilla is a three hundred feet tall fire breathing lizard."




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‎Me - "Oh! I didn't know you guys were coming into the classroom during lunch/recess today!"

Student - "Yeah, we decided to surprise you."



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"Mrs. Goldmann, you should come over to my house and play American Idol with me."




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"Mrs. Goldmann, Chuck Norris can rub two ice cubes together and make a fire."




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"...also, Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He stares at it and dares it to grow."




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Student - “Watch this Mrs. Goldmann, I can bite this pretzel and make it look like a tree.”

Me - “Nice! I learn a lot from you!”


Student - “I know. I learn a lot from myself too.”




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‎"So do you like the princess I painted for you? It didn't take me long to do. Only, like, fifteen minutes. I had to hurry because I had to use my sister's paint brush before she came back in the room."




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Me (addressing the class)- "Is everyone ready to take their plural endings test?"

Student - "Oh, I was BORN ready!"




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"I'm finished reading my novel about Justin Bieber, Mrs. Goldmann. I'm going to give it to you now."




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Me (addressing the class) - "Today is different. I need you all to go out to recess after lunch, because I have to go to a meeting. You can stay in if you want to next week."

Student 1 - "Ooooh! Mrs. Goldmann, your eye make up looks so good today!"

Student 2 - "Oh yeah! It looks like purple eye shadow!"




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Me - "We are all going to practice giving compliments about each other's personalities. Turn to your neighbor and give them a compliment."

Student - "Mrs. Goldmann, you have very good fluency and accuracy."

3rd Grade Quotes III

Student - “Mrs. Goldmann, we want to tell you a secret. We were thinking you could come to our sleepover.”



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"So, Mrs. Goldmann...you are going to have a sub tomorrow? When are you going to be back? And can't MR. Goldmann just be the sub?"



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"Mrs. Goldmann, sometimes when I say things to you, you are like, 'What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?'"



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2nd grader - "Mrs. Goldmann, what do you teach like? I bet you say, 'HEY YOU! STOP TALKING!!'"

3rd Grader - "No. She doesn't say that. She says 'Uh oh. No talking please.'"



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Parent - "I don't know why my son is so talkative! He is like this at home too. I don't know where he gets it from!"

Student - "I get it from YOU, Mom."



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“Mrs. Goldmann, check out these laptop erasers I got. It’s like I’ve got a real laptop, you know? Two-pack at the dollar tree. Pretty sweet deal.”



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Me - “I really, really want to thank you guys for making such mature and respectful choices in the classroom! I’m really proud of you and excited to have you as my students for the rest of the year.”

Student - “Our soccer team played really bad today at recess. We lost.”



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Student- "My mom is thirty and my grandma is twenty-one."

Me - Your grandma is twenty-one?"

Student - "Yep. She's told me that since I was little."



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Student - "Wanna know why I don't like to eat pineapples? It's because it hurts the tip of my tongue. That's just what happens to brown people."

Me - "Who told you that?"

Student- "I did. When my brother ate a pineapple it didn't hurt his tongue and he's white." (Please note he was eating a pineapple slice while telling me this story)



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"I think that people who act like they know everything just want to be the center of attention."



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Teacher - "When you study, you are using skills. What are some skills that you have?"

Student - "Building Legos."




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"You are the best teacher in the world. I told you that in only my nine years of life."



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"I love to play Mario Bros. Mario is Italian. If you don't know this, you don't know Mario."

3rd Grade Quotes II

“Oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!! When I open and shut my eyes really fast, it’s like I’m in some crazy movie!”


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“You’re nice. I used to go to this other school where my teacher was, like, really mean. Once I asked her why she was cranky and she said it was because of her husband.”



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One of my all time favorite quotes:


“Mrs. Goldmann, I noticed you keep picking up the markers that don’t work and trying to use them...so I hid them for you.”





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Kid - “Hey, Mom! I can focus my ears.”
Mom - “Oh really? Can you focus them on me?”
Kid - “No. Just, like, cars and stuff.”



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“Mrs. Goldmann is a beautiful name.”



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"Um, you know what Mrs. Goldmann? All of the things in the classroom will stay where they are over the weekend." (He motioned to all of the items in the classroom as he said this...very philosophical.)



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"I have to go to the health office because I'm allergic to the cold."




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"By the way, Mrs. Goldmann, sometimes I can be very obnoxious."




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Me - "Time to get out your flash cards and practice your math facts!"
Student - "Today is picture day! I can't decide if I should wear my collar up or down."



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I came back to my classroom the day after my students had a substitute. One of my girls said this to me:


"I missed you yesterday, Mrs. Goldmann. I thought about you a lot. I wondered what outfit you were wearing too."

3rd Grade Quotes

Student - “3rd Grade is SOOO hard.”
Me - “What is it you think is difficult?”
Student - “Division.”
Me - “Have we studied division yet?”
Student - “No. But it’s REALLY hard.”



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“Mrs. Goldmann, you are really funny when you’ve had too much coffee.”



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Me - “Tell me about a time when you felt proud.”
Student - "I felt proud when I let a woman sleep in my room.”


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Student- “I play Halo everyday after school. Do you play Halo, Mrs. Goldmann?”
Me - “I’m not a huge fan of guns...but I like car racing games!”
Student - “Once I saw an angel when I was tying my shoes.”



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Me - (giving instructions about a complicated dictionary activity we were about to do) “Any questions? This is going to be so much fun!”
Student - “Yeah. For YOU.”



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“Why is it that EVERY teacher just loves Diet Coke?”



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“I smell like a number twenty from Jack in the Box.”




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“My dad told me that anytime you are sick, it’s in your head. He said you just think it away and it will go away.”




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“Mrs. Goldmann, you are always singing songs! Can I make a request?”



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